To every doula whose ever stood outside of a hospital dialing a peer to vent about the practices she is aggravated to witness her client experience...
To every provider who stood in a gossip circle ruining someones reputation by soft forms of character assassination...
I'm talking to you. But mostly, I'm talking to us.
It can be easy to get caught in the "It would be okay if..." or the "I can't believe they did that."
A friend posted a natural birth video she thought to be beautiful into a FaceBook group and within minutes people were pulling it apart, second by second. According to the comments, the delivery was "botched", the baby "traumatized" and the strangers had it all figured out after an 8 minute clip.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all about hands-outta, mouths off, lights dim'n, no-baby-hatting midwifery.
However, I also know when to appreciate a skilled set of hands and medical perspective when its appropriate and it is not my place to speak to when IT is and ISN'T appropriate.
Unless I am willing to walk in the shoes of every provider present I can't speak to the grand responsibility of the outcome. Can you?
For example, whats the first thought you have when your friend from high school posts her newborn baby pictures all over FaceBook and you see that she is in the operating room?
Do you think thoughts of how happy they look in the photos?
Or... are you questioning the true need of the surgery and assume your friend ended up with a failed induction because she didn't "know better"?
When a friend or client comes to me asking what Midwives or OBs I suggest it is hard not to tell horror stories of the ones I pray they desperately avoid.
So, what do I do?
I share with them differences of practice standards.
Reasons I LOVE certain providers.
Reasons I refer to them.
Reasons I am proud to work with them.
Sharing the beauty you see and promoting what you love is a stronger force than assuming the worst and bashing those practices that you hate.